Dating anxiety is normal. Almost all of us get anxious when going for a first date or the first few dates with a new dating partner. Making a good first impression means that problems will arise when trying to break the ice.
These issues are however compounded in anxious people.
Fear of rejection, social anxiety, being an introvert, or shyness often acts as factors that make people hold back when on a date. These tend to be exacerbated in anxious people. It should, however, be remembered that such feelings need not necessarily hold you back as they can be controlled and decreased.
Most people who go on successful dates do not achieve success because of the lack of dating anxiety, but due to their capacity to manage dating anxiety. There are many tricks, tips, and methods that people can follow to overcome dating anxiety. They can begin to act self-assuredly, stay relaxed, and reduce anxiety when on a date. Anxious people can take different steps to lower dating anxiety and one of these steps is avoiding basic dating mistakes.
Below are 3 dating mistakes that all anxious people make:
1. Drinking a few drinks too many before the date:
Most of us tend to have a glass of wine or beer to ease the nerves and reduce dating anxiety. However, care needs to be taken to ensure that you do not over-drink before the date. It may be noted that anxiousness may limit the ability of a person to understand and gauge the effect of the alcohol consumed before the date. Hence, you may end up drinking a few more glasses than usual so reduce the edginess.
We may not notice the effect of booze, but will be easily visible or perceived by your dating partner. Arriving a little tipsy for the date may not only hamper the conservation and/or development of some connection, but can also be a turn-off for the partner.
Dating anxiety can cause people to project their fantasies onto the dating partner. Such behavior is more evident when we are a little tipsy.
2. Unnecessary sharing of personal life details
Dating anxiety related excessive nervous energy can cause anxious people to share all their deepest darkest secrets, hopes, and desires with a person who they have just met. Such behavior is often the outcome of emotions that remain suppressed in anxious people with dating anxiety. A peg too many before the date can also open a flood of reckless sharing of personal information.
It is best to avoid sharing too many personal details and just enjoy the date for what it is. Once you begin to gain the trust of your dating partner over the next few dates, weeks, etc., you may open up a little more and begin sharing a little more.
3. Excessive apologizing
Anxious people tend to think that everything is their fault. Thus, they may end up apologizing for even the smallest of mistakes, and even for things that are normally not regarded as mistakes.
Over-apologizing may not only irritate the partner but can also make you look weak. It is best to stay calm and converse as an equal partner in the date.
Dating anxiety is not the devil. It can be overcome. Avoid the above mistakes and feel the difference!
Has dating anxiety ever affected you? Leave us a comment to tell us about your experience.
This article originally appeared on AnxietyExit.com. It is published here with the author’s consent.
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